Where is Durm? Where is Eddie? Where is Lau? Questions for the ages. But perhaps they are the wrong questions. A better inquiry might be: Why do they suck oh so much?

Durm:
Medical school may be the popular excuse ... but I dont like it ... I dont like it one bit. My hypothesis? He killed Kirk Herbstreit and spent last semester posing as Kirk on College Gameday. Now that the season is over, perhaps we will hear from him a little more. We may not recognize him, so here is what Durm may look like now (and I threw in a police sketch of how Kirk Herbstreit may look).










Eddie:
This is a no-brainer. Obviously Eddie is selling drugs. He is far too busy taking over the family business for lowly non-customers like ourselves. I actually tried to buy some from him so I could be his friend again, but he only sells in bulk. He wouldn't even give me a discount, what a bastard. But that's what you get when Rudolpho trained him from childhood:

I don't know about you, Stax ... but I actually saw something similar in his basement at his house. Interesting.













JLau:
Durm and Eddie were easy. I am not so sure about JLau. He is Asian enough to like the idea of a blog to keep in touch, yet he hasn't said anything yet. I would say he doesnt have time ... between his classes, DJ-gigs, skateboarding tour, and late night bartending, there isnt much room to drop us a line. I wonder what his new fixation is? Perhaps it is ignoring his friends ... and this time, he is doing pretty well. My theory on JLau: he fell off the edge of the earth. I don't mean that figuratively. I mean literally, gravity stopped working for him, and he just fell off. No one noticed because all Asians look the same. He did leave behind a website link to his favorite rap video. I think his headstone should read "Don't want security to get suspicious. Mr. Pibb plus red vines equals crazy delicious."

i can't sleep in anticipation for this game. if ohio state wins i might have to relocate to someplace like georgia of all hellholes