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From: "Steven...Edward...Tutaj"
Received April 14, at 11:55pm

Mikeeeeeey. Miiiiiiikeey. Mikey, OK. Hey. Hey, Mikey. Alright, let’s get this down. Mike Eagan is a beast. He’s such a beast that he’s gonna come to Beaver Creek, Ohio on January 3rd.... yeah, January 3rd. We’re gonna go...and go to the awesome place it is for July 4th in Dayton, Ohio, we’re gonna just get Hammertowned and go to the awesome place. Then we’re gonna just chill out for like a week and a half playing golf and drinking kegs of Anchor Steam. And then we’re gonna go to Durm’s place. Durm’s place is...in Indiana. We’re gonna drive, go 2 hours to Indiana. That whole week we’re just gonna trash Durm’s place, oh man. We’re gonna just like pee all over the whole street and everything. We’re just gonna pee on the whole street, it’s gonna be awesome. And then, and then, we could just go play golf and get drunk all the time at Durm’s place in the, uh, Indiana. And thennnnn, then we’re gonna go to Hammertown. And then, it’s gonna be the greatest place ever. And hey, sah-pah-raiiiiise, Hammertown. Hey sah-pah-rise Durm’s wedding party. Hey, Hammertown’s just gonna get all over everybody, and then Durm and Kim are gonna leave, and we’re gonna have the reception all to ourselves, and ONG, it’s gonna be vomit and Everclear everywhere. The greatest and most delicious mixture ever. Wrigs is just gonna come and lick it up. She’s gonna be like, “Mmmmmm, Everclear, sah-pah-rise tasty.” And then we’re gonna....eat....dog -- not Wrigley, but some other dog. And then we’re gonna go in the strip club and punch people in the face. It’s gonna be awesome...it’s gonna be awesome.